As hurt as I felt and as cynical as I was at points, I made a conscious decision to trust again. It was a long road back for me personally and I had to keep believing that God wasn’t done with me. Our church has never been healthier or more effective. And the opportunities before me have never been greater. In those moments and days where I still don’t feel good, I cling to the hope that the sun will rise again. Once you’ve subscribed, just look for Episode 2, which is my interview with Perry.And the wonderful thing is: so many people trustworthy. Trusting again after your trust has been breached keeps your heart fresh and alive and – ultimately – hopeful again. I build margin into my schedule because without it, the edge of the next cliff is right around the corner. About a month ago I saw over half the warning signs creep back in. I was two days into what I thought was a ‘mini burnout’, but I sounded the alarm bells. How much of that could I see or imagine 7 years ago? Additionally, don’t miss the free resource page Perry and I put together to help leaders who are burning out. Get a fresh leadership podcast episode delivered to your devices every week by subscribing for free.
Even if you were perfect, your partner would make you out to be completely messed up. They can be funny, easy-going, exciting, attractive. You feel a pull to them, and they make you feel special. They act as if they are the smartest, hottest, richest or most successful person and everyone knows it. You did something wrong first to make them explode.
If he or she does something that is clearly wrong, they will find a way to turn it back around on you. They will even tell you this if they get the chance. The police have always been out to get them even though they never do anything wrong.
Your partner will play into this, claiming that other people are just jealous of what you have or are just trying to bring you two down. For example, if someone hurts them, they feel they have a right to retaliate.
If a teacher fails them, or a coworker says something bad about them, they feel entitled to revenge.
Divorce laws vary considerably around the world, but in most countries divorce requires the sanction of a court or other authority in a legal process, which may involve issues of alimony (spousal support), child custody, child visitation / access, parenting time, child support, distribution of property, and division of debt.
In most countries, monogamy is required by law, so divorce allows each former partner to marry another person; where polygyny is legal but polyandry is not, divorce allows the woman to marry a new husband.
I used to pride myself in being able to go at whatever I was doing longer and harder than anyone else. I now closely monitor how I’m feeling, my rest and my balance between time with people and time alone. In the end, it turned out to be my frustration over a leadership issue that was producing the symptoms. You can subscribe to my podcast for free here on i Tunes, Stitcher or Tune In Radio.
As soon as I cracked the leadership issue, the symptoms disappeared almost overnight. Pray, read your bible, seek life giving friendships, replenish your energy, eat right, work out, love deeply. What’s helped you move through your toughest seasons?
You might want to go to the movies–your partner will make sure you go out to dinner instead. He or she might even brag about the fact that they have left a trail of tears behind them.
You might be terrified of what your partner will say or do if you tell them. He used to put you up on a pedestal…and now all he does is try to tear you down. From little things to big things, you feel like your partner never listens. They lie about things they don’t need to lie about. They can swear on their life that they are not lying. A healthy person is consistent in the way they treat people, regardless of their status. Your partner has a bad reputation or a tradition of “messy relationships”.
But that kind of monitoring is for me central to staying healthy.